Over the years I have encountered a small problem with my left knee. Without warning it is subject to just “give out”. This is not only a painful experience, but a surprising one as well. A healthy person should never have to question the stability of her legs. The legs are there for support, which makes them very important.
Ironically, my relationship has fallen into the same kind of category of being unstable. Things can be going fine, and then without warning there is a blow out. I don’t understand this anymore than I understand the problem with my knee. It makes me curious as to what I am doing wrong. The problem has to be with me right?
I have never been in a long term relationship, so I don’t know the dos and don’ts or ins and outs. I wouldn’t say that I’m just going along for the ride. I’ve really grown a lot in all this time. Still, it hurts my heart just as bad as it hurts my knee when things go wrong.
Unlike with my knee, I could run a whole list of reasons things are going so badly in my relationship. For starts, the communication sucks. Neither one of us have been good about being open, up front. And even honest. I lamented earlier about how passionless the sex can be. It’s like the relationship barely has a pulse. I suppose we are running off of fumes. We have a family and responsibilities, so it’s not like we can just walk away.
Right now where we stand is unappealing, unhappy, unsatisfying, and most of all unstable. I am stuck with my legs and my bad knee for the rest of my life. Can I say the same about this relationship? No one should be staring out the window, wishing on a star that things could be different. After a while I will get to the point where I will name what those “things” are. Once I identify them, perhaps my heart will lean towards them instead of what I have now.
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