In Love and War

What is “love” in a committed relationship? After the bliss from the lust of the flesh melts away, one is left to ponder if the stock in the bone structure is enough to carry them the rest of the way. The once seemingly magnetic charms and romantic antics are replaced with child like emotional handicaps and customary politeness. In this instance of “self check” mode a list of good and bad comes into play. Other questions parade the mind like: how good is “good” or can we live with the bad? Is this someone that I can sit next to and feel open with, or do I feel the need to shut down and get as far away as I can? If there is a rift between us, can it be mended in a timely manner or am I too prideful to fix it? You can’t change people, and certainly don’t want to be changed by anyone in return. When two people look at life through different perspectives how can they come together to find common ground?  

Sometimes people just do whatever it takes to go through the motions of running the mechanics of the relationship. Perhaps the fear of ending up alone leaves room for agreeability and contentment. Other times people cling to the appreciation of actually having someone to be in a relationship with. There is an overwhelming sense of gratitude that is outlined by personal insecurities and rejection.

In any relationship one stands to lose a great deal if they hold onto things like, self preservation and itemize each wrong done to them. A committed relationship involves unity. No one wants to completely lose themselves inside this union. Stubborn people might find that they are reaching out to each other with lines drawn in the sand. It would be impossible for the relationship to grow under those circumstances. If neither partner is ready to call it quits they might experience a “cease fire” for a moment, until something else brings the feud back on.

The only chance a couple has to survive is to not allow the petty bickering to dictate or define the relationship. Trust and faith fall into play here. It is also a good idea not to focus so much on the flaws and negative sides of the partner. Committed relationships are meant to bring out the best in each partner and to allow growth within the imperfections.