What we have is beyond a culture clash, it’s unacceptable. Some simple truths have a way of breaking through. I’m not even mad, I totally get it. The writing’s been on the wall. It’s time to call the spade for what he is. I can’t say that I didn’t try; I needed to know without a doubt. It’s quite possible that some people were meant to be alone. What’s the point of “having” someone if you can’t have a happy home? I have no interest in trying to change a man who is completely content with the way he is. In fact, I admire that about him. That’s why I’m prepared to let it go, so he can be himself with no apologies. This here is a train wreck, and I’m getting off. There’s no way I can muscle my way through to a better tomorrow. It is what it is. I’m done digging my heels in quick sand. I’m all out of hope, so there’s only one option. My heart is no longer open and my mind is unavailable. At the end of the day I can live without this man. No more pretending, because that’s not me. That’s not the way a relationship should ever have to be. I don’t want anyone else. I can’t do this anymore. I’m down for the count, that thing’s for sure. I look to heaven to make this thing right. It’s not like I gave in without a fight. I just don’t see the point in going in circles. I’m not the brightest bulb in the pack, but I know I can’t take this anymore. I’m so empty, I can’t even cry. I don’t like to sleep with him, so I stay up half the night. My goal is to not let things go from bad to worse. I think we can dally in a comfortable silence. There’s no need to make a scene or to shout about it. That’s not my style. I can be cool about it. I have a feeling that the opportunity will come for a clean break. I will wait for it, because it’s the chance that I’m going to take. The signs will be there for when I make my move. I just have to be patient. I will do as much.
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